Where In The World Are You Supposed To Be Right Now?
By Melissa Marie
I am supposed to be in an online writing course. It is self-paced. I have a love-hate relationship with self paced and deadlines. I seem impossible even to myself. I am living my dream. I am a housewife now, I get to write every day but I find myself doing OTHER things like cleaning baseboards, weeding the garden, going to numerous doctors appointments, reading other blogs, grieving a loved one gone on this month, fighting fevers, seizures and the list goes on but I won’t bore you with all the physical blahness ( if that is not a word, for me it is).
I remember sitting as a bank teller, counting out money to my customers, I loved my job or mostly by customers but half the time I would be day dreaming by looking out the window. Dreaming of clocking out, running in the wind with a book in my hand and a handsome young man that would meet me underneath a tree and we would be happy just to be together.
No bills, or future to talk about just lofty dreams and sweet kisses as we both read from this book of poetry. Oh, how lovely.
Oh and it would be spring, it has to be spring so that the dream is fresh and the flowers are budding all around and the smell of earth fills our nostrils. Then we would go to our little cottage that would be spotlessly clean and I would write by the fire. We would live on my writing salary and that is all we would need. Earth to Melissa!!
Sorry boss, I was day dreaming again. I will get that report asap!
Now don’t get me wrong, I was a hard-worker and earned every dime that I spent working a conventional job but often those were my day dreams and my imagination like that of Anne of Green Gables ran away as a bird in flight high into the sky until reality hit and it was back to work.
This day dreaming happens often even though I no longer work a conventional job.
I still ask myself, Where In The World Am I Supposed To Be Right Now?
I am currently digging away the dross to shine in my silver gown again.
I am old enough to have it all together, but I don’t think many of us do. We are doing the best we can.
I do know one thing, and it is that I am supposed to be writing to you and I apologize for the lack of giving of myself to you my reader, I hope you can forgive me for not giving you the content that you deserve: Because maybe, just maybe you are right here with me asking yourself, where in the world do I belong? I know I belong here with you. I see that now and I am sorry that I have been so emotionally and physically drained to write content that would encourage you to remove the dross, the clutter, the moss overgrowth on where you are needed and wanted.
So, if you find yourself daydreaming. Start creating the life that you want to live. As fast as you can remove the clutter so that you can shine. So that you feel like you belong. If you can’t find it yet, that is okay it is a process and you can find that process right along with me.
Here is a bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils so that you can begin creating the life you want. just throw everything in one spot whether physical or emotional and slowly unravel the life that YOU designed.
You are not alone, I am right here with you with a cup of coffee, sketch paper and my own bouquet of pencils.
Well, right now off to the doctor’s office I go, but now I KNOW where I belong and it is here with you.
Until next time.